My last blog entry talked about an approach or method for creating positive change called Appreciative Inquiry (Ai). In addition to its usefulness as an organization change tool, Ai is also very effective for creating positive change in individual lives. Often called Appreciative Living, the idea, simply stated, is a daily focus on what is already working in your relationships and in your life, building upon these areas to create more of the life you want. Following are two familiar concepts to illustrate the basis for Appreciative Living.
You reap what you sow. If you sow tomato plants, you will reap tomatoes. If you sow creativity, you will reap innovation. If you sow the belief that the result you want is impossible, you will reap something less than that result. Make sense?
See if this makes sense too. Have you ever noticed that you will always see what you are expecting to see? When we expect someone to behave in a certain way, for example my mate to behave impatiently, we will almost certainly be presented with that behavior. It’s not that other behaviors have not also presented themselves, we just may not have been watching for them and we may miss them or ignore them.
If you find some truth in the concepts above, then consider how they apply to your own life, your relationships, your work, your goals. You can use the exercise below to illuminate areas for more Appreciative Living.
1) Spend time noticing what you notice. What do you find yourself focusing on, being drawn to, or paying attention to in your environment and your interactions? Spend a day or two simply noticing what you notice, and write it down.
2) Then spend a day or two focusing on what’s working, what’s good about your situation, what you admire about your mate, what you love about your children, what you appreciate about your co-workers, etc. Go looking for it intentionally and see what you find. Write down what you notice.
3) Review what you wrote about in step 1. As objectively as you can, read through what you noticed and see if you can identify any limiting beliefs or negative assumptions that you are making (about yourself, others, or the situation). Set an intention to let these go. You can replace them with greater open-mindedness and more curiosity about yourself, others, and the situation.
This type of self-reflection, honesty about beliefs and assumptions, and the willingness and courage to try something new is not commonplace behavior. Nor is it necessarily easy. I do know, however, that the outcomes can be powerful and very positive. Let me know if any of these ideas raise your interest or curiosity. I would really enjoy exploring new possibilities with you.
October 14th, 2010 at 8:14 am
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