I am a huge fan of the question. I’m sure I drove my parents more than a little crazy with all my questions as a child. What was that like? What for? What if? Why not? (that’s still one of my favorites).  Then we grow up and start believing that it is good and right to have answers, not questions. In the context of human relationships, however, I am here to say that questions still trump answers. In the context of relationships, when someone believes he or she has ‘the answer,’ it is often really an assumption. Being curious is about letting go of assumptions and becoming an explorer of the territory of the relationship.

Curiosity is open, inviting, spacious, almost playful. And yet it is also enormously powerful. Like scientific curiosity, which explores the deepest questions of matter, life, and the universe, curiosity in relationships allows individuals to enter the deepest areas of themselves and their lives, simply looking, curious about what they will find^{. 1} And something else that’s really cool about curiosity is that it cannot co-exist with judgment. So when we are being truly curious (open, inviting, spacious), we simply cannot be judgmental. Think about it.

Here is my Top 7 List of favorite questions for getting curious about another person:

1. What’s important to you about that?
2. What do you want / need?
3. What’s that like for you?
4. What are you learning from that?
5. How is that impacting you? How is that impacting your ________ (work, health, body, family,…)
6. What are you most grateful for in your life?
7. What’s next for you?

Try one or two of them out (or one of your own) next time you are in conversation with someone.  Curious questions will deepen the conversation and the connection you experience with the other person.

And here are my two questions for you:

1. What is it you are ready to explore more fully in your life?
2. What about yourself would you like to stop judging and start getting curious about?

As your coach, I will support you in your exploration, help you gain clarity around what you are saying yes to in life and what you are saying no to, and help you take action from a place of empowered choice.  Call me. Email me. Let’s set up a time for a free sample coaching session.

¹ Co-Active Coaching, New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life by Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, and Phillip Sandahl

Robert Fritz, musician, film maker, and organizational consultant, has articulated three principles that can help leaders more effectively create desired outcomes. The first principle, creating is different from problem-solving, was the topic of a previous blog post.  Fritz’s second principle is: “The creative process is animated by the gap between vision and reality.” Peter Senge writes about it this way:

“When we picture something we want to create, we’re imaging a vision of the future, which also evokes the implicit difference from what currently exists. Every creative artist understands this principle. Fritz calls it “structural tension,” and says it can be resolved by taking action to achieve our vision. Closing the gap between vision and reality is the essence of the creative arts. Artists get no credit for brilliant ideas unless they can bring them into reality. This “bringing of vision to reality” is also the essence of great social, political, or business leadership.

However, because this tension between vision and reality can be uncomfortable, creative tension becomes emotional tension and we often seek ways around it. One way to lessen the emotional tension is simply to reduce our true vision, to give up our dreams and aim for only “realistic goals.” While this might reduce our discomfort, it also reduces creative energy. The second way is even more troubling: we do not tell the truth about current reality. Just as the dynamics of compromise – lowering our vision – are common in human affairs, so too are the dynamics of denial. But to the extent that we misrepresent current reality, we lose the capacity to change that reality. The energy of the creative process is released not just by holding true to a vision, but also by telling the truth about what is.”

My 1-on-1 coaching work supports leaders to fully explore the current reality; to dig deeply within themselves in service of fully illuminating the truth of what is. From this place of sound knowing, emerges desire and motivation to go for the dream; not simply the “realistic goals”. Through our partnership, I will guide you in making (and keeping) commitments to yourself and in taking bold steps toward your desired future.

www.SherpaDeCoaching.com/leader

www.SherpaDeCoaching.com/personal

I’ve written before about Appreciative Inquiry (Ai). Ai is a whole-system approach to change grounded in the belief that the system (team, organization, family, etc.) will move towards and therefore get more of those things on which it focuses it’s time, energy, and attention. Or simply stated by Anthony Robbins, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” Appreciative Inquiry, as the name implies, guides the system to focus on what is appreciated, valued, working well, and what we want to create more of.

Ai is a fundamentally different approach to change than many of the traditional problem-solving approaches. The fundamental difference between creating and problem-solving is this: in problem solving we seek to make something we do not like go away. In creating, we seek to make what we truly care about exist. Consider this, written by Peter Senge, renowned leadership author and organizational change expert:

“Of course, most of us, in both professional and private life, spend far more time problem solving and reacting to circumstances than focusing our energies on creating what we really value. Indeed, we can get so caught up in reacting to problems that it is easy to forget what we actually want.

Organizations must do both – resolve day-to-day problems and generate new results. But if your primary role is to fix problems, individually or collectively, rather than create something new and meaningful, it’s hard to maintain a sense of purpose. And without a deep sense of purpose, it’s difficult to harness the energy, passion, commitment, and perseverance needed to thrive in challenging times.

If you wonder which is primary in your work, simply ask yourself or your team, “What are we trying to accomplish today?” Usually teams will describe a set of problems they’re trying to manage. Then, ask what they could accomplish by eliminating those problems. Typically they’ll describe yet another set of problems that could then be tackled – for instance preventing a service breakdown if only they first could solve their interpersonal conflicts. What often is forgotten is the more basic question: what are we trying to create? Without a compelling answer to this question, it is hard to know why all the problem solving actually matters. Problem solving becomes the busywork of organizations in which people have forgotten their purpose or vision. Reconnecting with that purpose always starts with asking questions like: Why are we here? What are we trying to create that will make the world a better place? And, who would miss us if we were gone? (By the way, if you are in a business, “our investors” is never an answer to the last question – investors will always find another company where they can earn an adequate return on their capital.)”

These are powerful questions to ponder, on both a professional and a personal level.  Here they are again:

1. Why are we here? (Why am I here?)
2. What are we trying to create that will make the world a better place? (What am I trying to create that will make the world a better place?)
3. Who would miss us if we were gone? (Who would miss me if I were gone?)

Here is my answer to the first question, professionally speaking. I am here to guide each individual with whom I work in discovering the creative, resourceful, whole, and worthy human being that he or she is and to guide him/her in stepping fully into that being.

Sound intriguing? Call me. Email me. Or better yet, take my “Healthiest You” assessment and I’ll contact you to debrief it together – it’s on me!

Register NOW!

Please join me and my colleague Mark Izzo of Converge Solutions, Inc. for this hands-on webinar event. We’ll look at the critical timing, in advance of the economic upturn, for you to increase your organization’s levels of employee engagement and  customer engagement and how these translate into greater market share and increased revenues.

Prior to the event, each individual participant will complete our assessment exploring critical activities for CEOs and HR executives to master in order to prepare their organization IN ADVANCE of the upturn. You’ll learn how to most effectively target your time and energy towards what is needed most, right now, within your own team and organization.

Register NOW! Space is limited.

In a recent post, I wrote about the recession’s impact on employee engagement levels. In the BusinessWeek article I cited, the question of focusing on employee engagement proactively during tough economic times was explored by leading experts. Those experts all agreed on one important point: Leadership matters. A lot!  Leaders, consciously or unconsciously, significantly influence the culture created within the team and organization and the results achieved.

“…the climate—how people feel about working at a company—can account for 20-30% of business performance.  Roughly 50-70% of how employees perceive their organization’s climate can be traced to the actions of one person:  the leader. More than anyone else, the boss creates the conditions that directly determine people’s ability to work well.”   Primal Leadership; Goleman, Boyatzis & McKee

What is it that people need to be able to “work well?” Practically every team building and leadership text written in the last decade agrees that people’s needs include:

• Feeling that their contributions are valued
• Recognition for their accomplishments
• Training and development / growth opportunities
• Adequate resources
• Clear expectations and challenging goals
• Involvement in decision-making
• Positive and collaborative climate

I’ll add one thing more: full authenticity, especially from the leader.

Full Authenticity

Full authenticity has everything to do with WHO the leader IS as much as WHAT the leader DOES.  In her book, Fierce Leadership, author Susan Scott says it this way, “If you want to become a great leader you must gain the capacity to connect with your colleagues and customers at a deep level, or lower your aim. So, whether your goal is to improve workplace relations or gain market share, your most valuable currency is not IQ, it’s not the ability to build a really cool power point deck, or analyze a case study or write a white paper. Your most valuable currency is emotional capital. And this is far from a naive, feel good notion; it is really good business sense. In fact, I am proposing that human connectivity, as opposed to strategy and tactics, is the next frontier for exponential growth and the only sustainable competitive edge.”

Wow – that’s a pretty powerful statement: “human connectivity… is the next frontier for exponential growth and the only sustainable competitive edge.”

So let’s put these ideas together. The leader is important. Moreover, a fully authentic leader offers great potential for sustainable business results, including a thriving company culture. A thriving company culture represents a desirable working environment in which we often experience retention of top performers, high morale, employee commitment to the organization, fun, and positive, trusting relationships (aka human connectivity).  Human connectivity is something we all long for AND it holds tremendous power to positively and exponentially impact the success of your organization.  Let’s take a closer look.

Human Connectivity

Making healthy contact and connection in the world is a fundamental human need. The more healthy contact and connection we have, the more fulfilled we become. You’ve probably heard the old adage about the person on his deathbed asking to see his “stuff” one last time. “I just want to see my TV or my BMW one more time before I die.” Not. It is the people we are in relationship with that we want to see and spend our final moments with. Relationships and human connectivity MATTER. And if you are in a position of leadership, be it in a corporation, your church, or your family, your ability to build relationships and connection with others REALLY MATTERS.

Making healthy contact and fostering connection with others begins with the ability to make healthy contact and connection with ourselves. The relationship we have with ourself is the most important one we will ever have. As Socrates implored rather simply so long ago, “Know Thyself.” As a leader, self-knowledge is the foundation that must exist from which to expand your abilities to be truly effective and impactful with others and within your organization. How?

The kind of self-knowledge I am talking about goes beyond the basics of understanding your skills and strengths and how others’ perceive you. All important for sure; and yet just the tip of the iceberg. The kind of self-knowledge I help my clients develop takes them to a much deeper level of what is sometimes called consciousness. Consciousness is defined by Merriam Webster as “the quality or state of being aware especially of something within oneself; the upper level of mental life of which a person is aware.” And; I love this one; Samuel Johnson, in “Dictionary” (1755), defined consciousness as “endowed with the power of knowing one’s own thoughts and actions.”

Consciousness involves learning to observe the unconscious mind and bring previously unconscious thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions into one’s awareness. Once into awareness, you can then explore these in detail. How is this belief serving me now? How is it limiting me now? From where did this assumption originate? And begin to reframe and expand your options and choices by asking, “What other way of looking at this might serve me better?”

Consciousness is also learning to recognize and tame that all-too-present voice of our “inner critic” or “saboteur.” It’s bringing to the conscious mind an understanding of the compulsions that push us around. What is my internal conversation like? How do I support myself or tear myself down through my internal dialogue?

This self-exploration work is very enlightening and often very enlivening. Imagine realizing that a limitation you’ve been unconsciously placing on yourself is no longer needed or valid. You can choose to let it go and replace it with something more empowering. How freeing! Now imagine bringing this level of consciousness to your leadership, whether in your organization, your family, or your community group. With the realm of possibilties expanded, your internal chatter quieted down, and your awareness heightened to watch for limiting assumptions or beliefs that creep into your thinking, a lot of open space gets created. Open space for becoming more curious about the situation or the people you are leading and really listening to them at a deep level. This is how you create healthy connection in the world!

I am so passionate about working with leaders and individuals wanting to dive into this type of awareness work. I invite you to call or email me and find out how to get started. I promise you, the results can be life-changing!

What shifts would occur if you showed up with a deeper level of consciousness in your leadership? in your family and personal relationships? Ready to find out?  Contact me!

DeYarrison@SherpaHigherPerformance.com

610.287.2989

There are some people in life who are walking just a few steps ahead of us on our journey. You know those people; the ones from whom you always seem to learn something new and who provide inspiration for you to keep moving forward. One such person in my life is my friend and colleague, Dave Miller. Dave is a business coach, sales and marketing expert, with a passion for helping entrepreneurs grow their businesses and achieve their dreams.

Dave writes a monthly e-newsletter, Business Mastery Ezine. I wanted to share the main article from his most recent newsletter with you.

“Five to Thrive” by Dave Miller

To be successful, you don’t have to excel at everything. But there are five areas that you must be clear about and must master if you want to reach those stellar goals you set. These five target areas for an individual to accomplish just about any goal are GOALS, STRATEGY, SKILLS, ENVIRONMENT and PSYCHOLOGY.

1.  GOALS

The first area is GOALS. For you to succeed, you have to be very clear on where you’re going. Define your destination by setting specific, measurable and inspiring goals.

Without goals it’s easy to lose focus and motivation. You end up floundering, jumping from one thing to the next, but not really getting anywhere.

In addition to getting clear on your goals, you want to identify why you want those goals. Everyone needs a compelling vision that will help them stay on task even when the going gets rough. So when I speak of this target area called “GOALS” , I’m also including how clear and strong your reasons are for wanting to do this.

2.  STRATEGY

The next target area is STRATEGY. Your goals define your destination, your strategy defines how you get there. What “vehicle” will you use to achieve these goals? Do you know what to do? What is the pathway of execution? Is it the best strategy for your personality, skill set and goals?

What are “strategies”? Well, let’s take the goal of generating leads. Some strategies are:

• Using the internet to generate leads,
• Networking and referrals,
• Speaking to various groups,
• Direct mail and newsletters, and
• Events like trade shows , exhibits, etc.

There are literally hundreds of strategies that can be employed. Most professionals only use one. I recommend developing a multiple strategic approach to your business. Just like you wouldn’t invest all your savings in one stock, you don’t want to limit your business to only one source of generating target prospects (or in pursuing any of your goals). So, along with having clear and powerful goals, have a set of strategies to get you to your goals the fastest and easiest way.

3.  SKILLS

The third area is to upgrade SKILLS. Skills have to do with competence. Competence is a function of knowledge and skills, which can be gained from education, training and/or experience. Where STRATEGY talks about “how”, SKILLS deal with “how well.” They speak to the level of execution and effectiveness. You may have great goals, a compelling vision and a solid set of strategies, but if you don’t have sufficient skill to be effective, you won’t get a great result.

For example, if you’re pursuing a networking marketing strategy, but are ineffective at establishing rapport, asking good questions and carrying a quality conversation, you will not be very successful, even though networking is an excellent marketing strategy. The problem is you can’t succeed with strategy alone. You also need skillful execution.

What SKILLS are important for you to succeed? I recommend you make a list of key skills and rate yourself on your current mastery.

Here are some examples of selling skills that you might include in your list:

• Prospecting (finding and attracting potential buyers)
• Establishing rapport (“to have a connection or understanding with someone)
• Assessing needs (finding out what your prospect’s pain is and what you may want from your product and service)
• Presenting (solutions, benefits – not features)
• Handling objections
• Closing the sale
• Getting re-sales (customer buys again), upsales (customer buys higher level package or additional items)
• Getting referrals

So along with GOALS and STRATEGY, you want to be aware of your own SKILL level.

4.  ENVIRONMENT

The fourth target area is called ENVIRONMENT. You want to create an environment that will support you versus one that works against you. Can you succeed in spite of your environment? Well, yes, but it will take a lot longer and be a lot more painful.

What do I mean by “environment”? There are three general categories here:

Physical – this includes things like where you live, where you work, the condition of your office or desk, and your organization systems. For example, if your working out of your home from your kitchen table with the kids screaming, the house phone ringing, no privacy and paper all over the place – you’re not dealing with an ideal environment.

Technology – The second category of environment is technology. This has to do with how well you’re utilizing systems and tools in your business. PDA’s, cell phones, telephone headsets and contact management databases are other examples of technology that can really make the journey to success a lot faster and easier. Technology isn’t just about computers and electrical gadgets – it’s about systems and approaches. A prime example is having a system for managing time and priorities. So if you struggle in the area of time management, it may be an issue of the ENVIRONMENT (i.e., not having a system).

People – The third category of environment is people. Who are the people you surround yourself with? Is the company you keep supportive or are they a drag on their business? An ideal people environment serves as a structure of support for your business. Do you have that structure of support – someone that will make sure you get to their destination no matter what comes their way? Do you have a business partner, accountability partner or a coach? If you don’t have that structure of support, it is easy to get off-track and get discouraged.

If you optimize your environment, you can succeed BECAUSE of your environment rather than IN SPITE of it.

5.  PSYCHOLOGY

The fifth target area is MASTERING YOUR PSYCHOLOGY. I believe that PSYCHOLOGY is 80% of the battle in doing anything difficult; the other 20% is mechanics. A person may be doing well in all these other categories and still fall way short of achieving their desired outcome if the have an unresourceful psychology. I call it “getting in your own way.”

Our psychology is comprised of our thoughts and beliefs. It is the conversation that happens inside our heads. What I think or believe about a situation will impact how I feel about it, which will impact what I do about it. Beliefs like “I don’t have what it takes”, “What if I fail?” , “They’ll probably reject me”, {insert yours here!} disempower us and prevent us from taking the necessary actions to obtain our goals. These thoughts can start a downward spiral of performance.

However, a resourceful psychology will work in a positive way to fuel an upward spiral of behavior and success.

ARE YOU FOCUSING ON THE FIVE TO THRIVE?

So when you think about it, if you have:
Really clear GOALS to provide direction
An effective STRATEGY to provide the vehicle
Upgraded SKILLS to provide the effectiveness
A supportive ENVIRONMENT to provide leverage, and
A resourceful PSYCHOLOGY to provide the passion, persistence and determination,

there’s an excellent chance you will achieve your goal, whatever it is.

We’ve entered February, 2010; officially into the 2^nd month of a new year. What goals have you set for yourself this year? Are you progressing as you had hoped? What might be getting in your way? I’d love the opportunity to explore these questions and develop a coaching relationship with you to help you achieve your highest goals and dreams.

Send me an email or give me a call:

DeYarrison@SherpaHigherPerformance.com

610.287.2989

Has the recession impacted levels of employee engagement? Current research reveals that recession-related trends, such as layoffs, pay cuts, and increased workloads, have resulted in a general decline in employee engagement and productivity. This trend was predicted by many experts. In May, 2009, BusinessWeek magazine published an article on this topic. The article offered two differing opinions to the question: Is the recession a time to be focusing on employee engagement? Below are a few excerpts from the expert who responded, “YES.”

“Employee engagement will hit historic lows in the coming years and cost employers billions in lost productivity—and cost consumers in the form of a more frustrating I-don’t-really-care-about-you customer experience. Employee engagement is directly related to the experience customers desire.

This “Great Recession” will widen the gap between the few companies that deliver a consistently good experience and the great majority whose employees are more disengaged than ever and deliver poor service. A Quantum Market Research study revealed that between fall 2007 and fall 2008, nearly one-half of companies surveyed had a decrease in employee engagement scores, measured by an employee’s willingness to put in extra discretionary effort for the good of the business, speak positively about the business to others, and stay loyal to the job.

What if all employees in your company were engaged and willing to give the company 15 minutes of discretionary effort each week? The ROI would astound you and the improved customer experience just might make the difference between surviving the Great Recession and thriving in it.”

Important questions for your consideration:

• How has the recession impacted employee engagement at your organization?
• Would you or your leaders benefit from expansion of your current approaches to employee engagement?

So, who is an engaged employee? Here is a short checklist of characteristics.  An engaged employee:

• is loyal, productive, perhaps even passionate and applies discretionary effort to his/her work
• understands the organization’s priorities, goals and desired results
• knows how the work he/she performs contributes to the success of the organization
• feels that his/her personal values align with the values of the organization
• receives appropriate and timely rewards, recognition, and reinforcement
• is directly involved in discussions and decisions impacting his/her work
• feels positive about the leadership of the organization and has a good connection/relationship with his/her immediate supervisor

Think about the employees of your organization or members of your team.  How would you rate them compared with the checklist above? How might they rate themselves?  And again consider these questions:

• How has the recession impacted employee engagement at your organization?
• Would you or your leaders benefit from expansion of your current approaches to employee engagement?

Now IS the time to take action and ensure your organization’s future.

Now is the time. Let’s explore ideas for assessing and increasing engagement levels within your organization. Send me an email or give me a call:

DeYarrison@SherpaHigherPerformance.com

610.287.2989

Recently, I had an opportunity to facilitate a leadership retreat for a small group of college students. About midway through the day, I had a minor revelation: My role there was much more than “facilitator.” As facilitator, my role is to set up learning opportunities, let the process unfold as it will, and then help the group members make connections to their “real-world” by asking good questions and guiding a reflective discussion. I sensed a real difference in my purpose here as I was getting to know these future leaders; that is, I was a living, breathing example and role model of “leadership.” There was an unstated expectation that I would teach or impart my own leadership wisdom, experiences, apprehensions, and mistakes within this group. After all, these students will someday be the leaders of our businesses, our financial institutions, our government. These students will one day be leading the next generation, including my own two children.

As we sat together in a circle on the floor, the students and I engaged in one of those conversations that leaves you very content yet very contemplative. I’d like to share a few of the nuggets of wisdom that emerged from our time together:

• Being the leader does not mean you are expected to have all the right answers and to know everything. People are too smart for that and are looking for leaders who can be REAL and AUTHENTIC with the courage to admit when they are unsure and to unabashedly ask for help when they need it.
• It is our nature to make ASSUMPTIONS. Assumptions are useful and help us to not “reinvent-the-wheel” every time we are faced with a decision or situation. However, assumptions are also dangerous if not validated by stakeholders on a periodic basis. Airing and validating assumptions within a team is a critical leadership task.
• CURIOSITY is a critical leadership skill. When we are curious, we ask more questions, seeking to understand a person or a situation. When we are curious, we are open. We are not making assumptions, as assumptions and curiosity cannot co-exist.
• Spending time on what is often viewed as the “fluff” of building a team, is never wasted time. By that I mean, spending time getting to know team members outside of the work environment, to learn about what makes them tick, their interests, family background, etc. and having some fun together. It is so true that laughter is a strong glue, capable of holding teams together. As Aristotle once said, “You learn more about someone in an hour of play then in a year of work.”
• Oh, how important it is (and a great time saver too) to ensure we have CLARITY and COMMITMENT on a team before closing a meeting or discussion. Assuming silence equals agreement is a big mistake. Another critical leadership skill then, is the willingness to risk that sense of harmony, albeit artificial, by double checking with each team member for agreement and understanding around decisions made.

I believe that in all we do, we are planting seeds, some to be sown at a future time and place that we may never know about. As business leaders, we probably will never realize the extent of the impact we have on the employees entrusted to us, and on the people who they lead, including their families. What a tremendous responsibility! It is my hope that we will all make our choices wisely, being mindful of the far-reaching ripples we cast out with our words and actions.
I know the students felt the retreat was a good use of their time and they all left with some new learnings. I sure did too.

Experts agree, trust is a necessity if you want a high performing and cohesive team (I decided against listing dozens of citations to support that. You’ve probably seen many of them already; they’re everywhere). When you think about what’s needed to build a solid foundation of trust, you may think of ideas such as:

• being honest with one another (admitting mistakes, asking for help when needed),
• authenticity (say what you mean and mean what you say)
• integrity (walk your talk)
• reliability (do what you say you’re going to do when you say you’re doing to do it)
• accountability (calling one another one behaviors that hurt the team; addressing poor performance)

I would agree; and certainly not an all-inclusive list. One key element in building trust, is actually a prerequisite to all those listed above: COURAGE. It’s a courageous person who can readily admit his/her mistakes to teammates, or who can open up the dialogue around the controversial issue that has become the “elephant in the room.” And I have never, not once, witnessed a team member [respectfully] calling another on an unproductive behavior without a second or two of nearly tangible courage-mustering.

How courageous are you? Your response will undoubtedly vary based on the context. What makes it difficult (or easy) to be courageous in certain situations? How can we intentionally build our “courage” muscles, developing a stronger collective backbone for our team, our organization, our world?

Patrick Lencioni (author of Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Death by Meeting, and many other leadership texts) recently wrote about heroism (a result of acting courageously) in today’s society, communities, and workplaces. Here is a thought (from Lencioni) to leave you with: “The next time we witness someone taking a difficult stand for what is right, whether it is in the workplace, at school, in your church or little league, let’s take the time to tell them that we admire them for what they did. And better yet, let’s tell them that we wish we could be more like them, and that they’ve inspired us to try. Not only will that reinforce their heroic behavior, it will also increase the likelihood that the next time we are faced with a moment of truth, no matter how small it may seem, we choose to be a hero, too.”