I had a picnic lunch with a friend the other day. You know, your typical picnic of miso soup, sushi, and Perrier water! The conversation soon became typical also (for me anyway), and covered ideas about what it means to be in community, where in the world (geographically) we’ve witnessed the greatest sense of community, and what it would be like to have that in our own small town.

Something my friend said has really stayed with me. In commenting on what it was like for him when he first moved to our town, he spoke about feeling unwelcome, or like an outsider, based on the way people interacted with him. Rather than being given eye contact and a smile, he noticed people looking away, avoiding eye contact. Rather than being approached with curiosity, he felt approached with judgement, as if others were “summing him up” solely on what they saw at that moment.

So I’ve been paying more attention to the behaviors I observe as people, myself included, have the opportunity to interact. Sometimes people grab the opportunity and contact is made. In many cases, however, contact is avoided and an opportunity is lost. When you pass by another person on the street, in the hallway at the office, in the mall, do you make eye contact and smile? Do you look away, avoiding the other’s face? Take a minute to become aware of your typical reaction, whatever it is. Then ask yourself, what is being created by your action at that moment. How can you use contact opportunities to create inclusivity and community?