Like this one, “Getting rid of stuff frees up space.” How’s that for profound? Ok, not so much. Taken literally, that is an obvious statement. As I’ve carted many bags and boxes of stuff to the Goodwill store, beautiful SPACE has appeared in my basement. And taken metaphorically, it works the same way. Getting rid of the ‘stuff’ I no longer need (i.e.: self-doubt, beliefs or assumptions that are not serving me, guilt or anxiety over the coulda, woulda, shoulda’s…) frees up SPACE. SPACE, in this context, might include the likes of mental clarity, energy, sense of calm, belief in myself, joy, and gratitude.

With such wonderful space-making possibilities, I often wonder why I hold on to my stuff so long. Why do you hold on to your stuff so long? Comfort of the known is surely a powerful force at work here. Even when the “known” is stressful, unfulfilling, or guilt producing. Couple comfort of the known with fear of the unknown and we humans aren’t generally too quick to let go of our stuff. The good news is that letting go gets easier the more we do it. Perhaps as we realize the freedom and peacefulness we can experience without the drag of our stuff, forward momentum builds and letting go becomes an empowered choice.

What to keep and what to let go of? Questions that might help point you in a useful direction:

1) What are you tolerating in your life right now?

2) Where does your joy come from?

3) If you had a secret passion, what would it be?

4) What are your 3-5 core values?

“The more you have, the more you are occupied. The less you have, the more free you are.” Mother Theresa

Wishing you and yours a very blessed Thanksgiving!

If you’d like the benefit of exploring “your stuff” with a Certified Professional Coach, please contact me!

Denise@SherpaDeCoaching.com

610.287.2989

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For example, consider this perspective: “A walk in the woods is enlivening, a wonderful encounter with the natural world.” There is a tone in my language. I can practically smell the fragrance and hear the sounds of that perspective. When I say that sentence and feel that perspective, my body posture shifts to embody the perspective, its inherent attitude and beliefs: standing tall, energy flowing, ready to get out there!

Now suppose I viewed a walk in the woods as dangerous, messy, bug-ridden, and a waste of time. My tone changes. My body posture changes to reflect the different inherent attitude and beliefs of this perspective. Please note that these are simply two different perspectives on a walk in the woods. Neither is right or wrong. Yet each clearly creates a different experience for me.

So what? you may say. What I hope to illustrate is the fact that we each have the power to dramatically shift our life experience by shifting our perspective. Just like that sculpture in the middle of the room, the events of our life — a specific situation, a decision to be made, a certain relationship, an opportunity– can each be considered from different viewpoints, angles, positions, perspectives. And as we look through these new lenses we have access to more and different information. New possibilities are created.

So often, I find myself, a client, a friend, etc. living from a disempowering perspective. We get stuck, feel powerless, and make up rules or beliefs that define our experience, such as:

“I really should be doing more, but there’s no way I can …”

“I knew it would be like this at the beginning; all new managers experience situations like this.”

“This always happens when I tell her what I really think.”

“I need more clients, but nobody is buying in this economy.”

I want to share with you a 5-step Perspective Shifting Formula for getting unstuck. For opening up new possibilities. For expanding outside of the box. The 5-Step formula will help you move from stuck to possibility, from possibility to empowered choice(s), and from empowered choice to action. The link below will take you to a pdf document of the formula and step-by-step instruction for working through it.

Perspective Formula by SherpaDe Coaching, 2011

Playing with new perspectives on old situations is a powerful way to reclaim control and power over your life experience. If you’d like guidance in using the formula and creating powerful shifts in your life, please contact me. I am offering free sample coaching sessions (one per person) through the end of December, 2011.

Denise@SherpaDeCoaching.com

610.287.2989

“Like” me on Facebook: SherpaDe Coaching

As I reflect on the weekend, a couple of thoughts come up that I want to share.

1. Community. I realized how important it is to me to spend time with my larger family community. Knowing that I belong to a tribe is comforting. We share values, beliefs, traditions; and that creates a sense of being understood and valued at a pretty core level.
2. Aliveness. Sicilians are often stereotyped as having a zest for life; a great sense of aliveness. I received a compliment once that really touched me: “You are the most alive person I know.”  When I am living in an ALIVE way, I am grateful, authentic, accepting, practicing good self-care, spending time in nature and with the people who nourish my soul.
3. Roots. Connecting with my family’s roots or origin continues to become more important to me as I age. Recently I’ve learned that there is an Italian village that bears my family name. And where some of our customs and traditions originated, along with their significance. Seeing myself as one brush stroke on a huge painting that also includes generation after generation of my ancestors, is a helpful perspective for me to consider when I become bogged down with or frustrated by realities of my daily life.
4. People matter. When mom and I were leaving to head back home, I thanked my mom’s cousin, the mother of the bride. I thanked her for a wonderful visit, for her generous hospitality, and for the great food(!). Her reply was, “You’re welcome. This is what we do. You know that, you’re Italian. We gather, we feed, we embrace people.”

My new mantra to live into: I gather, I feed (nourish), I embrace people.

When most of us talk about health, we are really referring to a reduction in illness. The kind of Health that I want in my life, and that I equip my clients to create in their lives, is different. This is Health with a capital H. This kind of Health often appears as:

• Peace-of-Mind
• Energy & Vitality
• Desire for Whole Foods, from nature not the factory
• Fulfilling Relationships
• Empowered Choices
• Enough Rest
• Spiritual Connection
• Letting Go, when necessary
• Smiles, Laughter, Fun

Sound good? Yes, you really can have all of that. The best ways to achieve Health require attention to the many and varied factors that contribute to our well-being, such as stress level, good nutrition, healthy relationships, fulfilling work, positive self-image, and self-empowerment. These factors are interconnected and synergistic, whether we realize it or not.  I have believed and experienced for a number of years now, that achieving Health has as much, if not more, to do with who we are being, than what we are doing. I am sure my 1-on-1 coaching clients would attest to that statement. It seems that much of the work these individuals are doing is the work of creating Health in their lives by looking closely at who they are being and what they are creating or manifesting in their lives as a result.

How about you? What is your vision for Health & well-being in your life? How do you create Health and well-being from the inside out? Let me offer to you a powerful resource called Got Resilience?, which is my program for creating Health in your life. Got Resilience? guides you in claiming the Health that is rightfully yours; remember the bulleted list at the beginning of this post? You really can have all of that. Got Resilience? includes a 4-session teleclass series, a day-long retreat, and individual coaching (packaged separately; you do not need to participate in all, though it is recommended for maximum benefit). The next teleclass series begins on Thursday, Sept 29th. The next retreat will be on Wednesday November 2, 2011. Read on for teleclass details. Retreat information and registration will be available soon.

I hope you will join me for this important and powerful series and find answers to your Health questions.

Got Resilience? Teleclass Series: Four Thursday lunch hours (12pm-1pm). Sept 29, Oct 6, Oct 13, oct 20.  Click here to register.

Learning Objectives:

1. Self-assess your current stress level and level of satisfaction in key life areas
2. Identify your primary internal & external stressors
3. Identify the steps you can take to eliminate stressors that are within your control
4. Identify the steps you can take to relate differently with those stressors that are outside of your control
5. Gain clarity around self-sabotages, limiting beliefs, and the assumptions that currently run your life
6. Gain clarity around your desired future state…what are you moving towards?
7. Increase skill at avoiding emotional reactions “in the moment” and instead, respond to situations with intentionality
8. Learn and practice various stress management / resiliency building activities
9. Learn skills and tools for rewriting limiting beliefs, changing your self-sabotaging inner dialogues, and establishing and maintaining clear boundaries in your relationships
10. Understand how to best nourish your body and mind for greatest resiliency, vitality, and energy through whole foods
11. Achieve greater congruency or resonance in your life; that is, aligning your daily behaviors with your most important values. A congruent life is the key to peace-of-mind.
12. Real-time coaching to support and challenge you, and help you make the changes you most want to make in your life.

Some of the tools you’ll receive in the teleclass:

1. Wheel of Resiliency, self-assessment
2. Goal Setting and Milestones Planning
3. Language of Empowerment
4. Power of a Perspective, 6-step process to perspective shifts
5. One Belief at a Time, a process for rewriting limiting beliefs
6. Resources for incorporating more whole foods into your daily diet (and avoiding energy-sapping processed foods)
7. Values Clarification Exercise
8. Real-time Coaching segments during the calls

Registration Fee for the 4-part Teleclass: $75. Click here to register.

Since that writing, I have had the privilege of being introduced to a man who personifies RESILIENCE. His name is Jason Fowler. Jason was a child and teen Motorcycle Champion, racing motorcycles around the country from the age of 7. When he was 17, a tragic motorbike accident left him paralyzed from the chest down. In the years that followed, Jason chose an attitude of resilience and empowerment, rather than one of self-pity, negativity, or despair. His resiliency and his self-supportive attitude have led him to become a top competitor in worldclass races, including winning the handcycle division of the Ironman World Championship in 2009. For those that aren’t familiar, that’s a 2.4 mile swim, a 112-mile bike race, and a full marathon (26.2 miles); all using only his arms!

I am very excited that this incredible man is coming to tell us his story live on June 13, 2011. My Juice Plus+ team is hosting his visit at the Great America Pub in Conshohocken, PA (6-9pm). Jason will be with us to share his story and his inspirational message of self-empowerment and dreaming big.

Seating is very limited for this event.  As my guest, there is no admission fee to you. Please reply to me as soon as possible, today even, if you’d like to join me for this cool opportunity to hear Jason speak in such an intimate gathering.

Watch a short video clip of Jason here.  Learn more about him at his personal website.

I hope you’ll join me on June 13th!

Denise@SherpaDeCoaching.com
610.287.2989

• Job burnout experienced by 25% to 40% of U.S. workers is stress related
• Depression is the leading occupational disease of the 21st Century
• $300 billion, $7,500 per employee, is spent annually in the U.S. on stress related compensation claims
• Employee stress levels are positively correlated to on-the-job accidents, work days missed due to illness, and team and individual effectiveness

In response to a client request, I recently developed a stress management workshop that I called, “Got Resiliency?” My workshop identifies and explores three steps to increasing one’s resiliency and capacity for healthily coping with life’s stressors. Over the course of my next few blog entries, I will share the three steps along with practical application ideas for you to use to increase your own resiliency and health. (Contact me for your personalized “Coping and Stress Management” assessment).

Three Steps to Greater Resiliency:

• Awareness of Stressors
• Self Support (emotional, mental, spiritual)
• Wellness Support (physical)

Step 1: Awareness of Stressors

This involves increasing your awareness to your own unique stressors, how you respond to these stressors, and what symptoms you experience as a result of your response.

Stressors fall into two general categories: External stressors and Internal stressors. External stressors are those coming from our environment, our work, our family, etc. Some examples are: work demands, relationships with boss or co-workers, family concerns, moving, death of spouse or loved one, finances, illness, etc. External stressors may be things outside of our control (traffic jam, death of a relative, car or major appliance breaking down), or they may be things that we have some ability to influence such as our relationships with others and our health.

Internal stressors are those that come from within and include one’s:

• Expectations of self and others
• Self Image
• Perspectives or perceptions
• Beliefs or Assumptions
• Fear and Anxiety

External stressors are relatively easy to identify. Our internal stressors, the ways in which we cause ourselves stress, unintentionally, and perhaps unconsciously, are somewhat more evasive at first. Use the checklist below to identify your top few stressors in each category.

EXTERNAL WORK-BASED STRESSORS.

_____Too many responsibilities

_____Demanding or Unreasonable Deadlines

_____Conflicts with management or co-workers

_____Demanding or difficult customers

_____Conflicting demands / unclear expectations

_____Lack of control over my workload and/or decisions affecting my job

_____Job insecurity due to cutbacks, layoffs, downsizing, reorganization

_____Limited opportunity for advancement and/or inadequate pay

_____Other ________________________________________________

EXTERNAL PERSONAL /HOMELIFE STRESSORS.

_____Death of significant person i.e., a spouse, friend, relative, or family member:

_____Separation or divorce

_____Health problems or injury

_____Finances (not enough money and/or heavy debt:

_____Conflicts with mate, inlaws, family or friend(s):

_____Challenges with children

_____Other ________________________________________________

INTERNAL STRESSORS

_____Expectations of self & others (should’s, have to’s)

_____Poor self-image; lack of belief or confidence in self

_____Perspective on situations that leave me feeling “stuck,” hopeless, or resigned

_____Worry, anxiety, fear over future / future events

_____Regret, resentment, guilt over past / past events

_____Lack of asserting or clearly stating my needs and wants in a situation

_____Lack of control or power over my circumstances

_____Other ________________________________________________

Most of our stress comes from within, not from without. Even in the face of the most challenging external circumstances, we GET TO CHOOSE our response, our perspective, our approach. Our response, perspective, approach, in turn, either increases our resilience, our calm, our groundedness, OR leads us to experience more stress.

Below is an introduction to several strategies for increasing our capacity to choose the resilient, empowered approach to our stressors. Stay with me over my next several blog entries as I’ll share specific ideas, information, and techniques in each area below.

Step 2, Self Support, looks at how we support ourselves towards greater resiliency in an emotional, mental, and spiritual sense. Specifically important are:

• Inner dialogue: the conversation you carry on with yourself all throughout the day. Is it positive, negative, affirming, demeaning, full of unmet expectations (i.e.: should have done this; shouldn’t have done that)?
• Presence and Appreciating What is: the art of living in the here and now
• Perspective: the way you view or perceive a certain situation, your work, a relationship, etc.
• Beliefs: The underlying “truths” we hold about ourselves, others, organizations, relationships, etc. For example: “I have to be in control of this or…” “This ______ is going to be difficult.”  “I’m not good enough, smart enough, experienced enough, ______enough to do this well.”

Self support is an interesting area to explore. Often, our currently method of “supporting” ourselves in this area is unconscious, habitual, and not so, well, supportive.  I’ll share techniques and ideas for developing a practice of conscious self support in Part 2 of this blog series.

Step 3, Wellness Support, looks at how we support our bodies towards greater resiliency in a physical sense. Specifically important are:

• A good, clean diet, filled with whole food nutrition
• Amount of exercise or movement we provide for ourselves
• Amount of clean water we drink each day
• Amount of sleep we allow for ourselves each night

Wellness support is a big topic, and will be the focus of Part 3 of this blog series.

Complete your personalized “Coping and Stress Management” assessment.

Denise@SherpaDeCoaching.com      610.287.2989

Join the discussion: Share your tips for effectively managing stress and for increasing your resilience.

Post your comments here or on my Facebook page:  SherpaDe Coaching

Wisdom Quest Basics:

• 1-on-1 Coaching Sessions, over a minimum 6-month period
• Self-Assessments to gain a thorough picture of your strengths and opportunities for growth
• 360-degree Feedback Process
• Individual Development Plan (Goals, Milestones, Action Steps)
• Proven Leadership Curriculum, with topics like High Impact Communication, Coach Approach to managing others, Facilitating Difficult Conversations, Accountability, and more

In November, 2010, I was interviewed about Wisdom Quest. Listen here:

You can read more details about Wisdom Quest here.  And better still, please accept my gift of my complimentary “Leadership Mastery” assessment and debrief session. Access the assessment here. I’ll contact you via email to set up our debrief session.

May your 2011 be filled with success, fulfillment, and transformational leadership!

Ending Well

Looking back on 2010, what were your greatest successes, breakthroughs, accomplishments?

We can use our wins to deepen our awareness and understanding of ourselves and of what we want more of in our lives. Consider these questions:

1.    What did I learn?

2.    What did I do / experience that surprised me?

3.    What am I learning about my strengths? My limitations?

4.    What do I want to acknowledge or recognize about  myself?

For example, one of my accomplishments this year was finishing an Olympic-distance triathlon. This experience taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I can achieve anything I set out to do; and it will require my commitment, skills, and an informed process/approach. I am surprised at how much I enjoy competition and at how competitive I can be. I discovered that I enjoy swimming a long distance. The focus on my breath and breathing feels meditative and has transference to other areas of my life, such as handling stressful work situations or parenting moments, and helping me fall asleep at night. I want to acknowledge my strength (physically as well as mentally) and my ability to develop and execute a plan for achieving my goals.

I can use this experience and it’s lessons to notice what I do well and what comes naturally to me, what brings me joy or a sense of fulfillment, what I would like to create more of for myself in 2011. The questions and tools below will help me to solidify some specifics.

Beginning with Intention

What will 2011 be like for you? You do get to choose what it will be like, you know. That may sound crazy, but think about it. While we cannot know all the circumstances or scenarios we will find ourselves in during 2011, we can decide who we want to be in our life’s circumstances. For example, I may want to be a person who is compassionate or empathetic. I can choose to begin a practice of being compassionate, building that muscle day-by-day, getting stronger and better at practicing compassion in any and all circumstances.

Here are three super simple, yet powerful tools for designing the 2011 that you most want:

1)    Affirmative Mantra. Develop a short mantra or affirmation that you’ll repeat to yourself daily. Your mantra is focused on what you want more of in your life (i.e.: compassion). For example, you might begin each day by saying “I choose compassion today” or “I am compassionate.” You may repeat your mantra to yourself every hour, or at your lunch break, etc. We get more of what we focus our attention on; so be intentional about where you focus your attention!

2)    2011 Theme. Choose a theme of JOY or ACCEPTANCE or SELF-CARE or whatever feels like a priority for you to have in your life right now. Let your theme become a measuring stick or scale you use to assess decisions, choices, activities.  How will this activity honor / dishonor my theme of self-care? How will choosing X lead to more joy in my life OR lead me away from more joy in my life?

3)    Vision. Create a vision for yourself for 2011. Not a written vision ‘statement’, but more of a metaphorical description of what you want to create in your life this year. Your vision might be a drawing, photograph, song, poem, collage, or something else.

Once you have clear intentions about what you will create for yourself in 2011, it’s time to set goals and define action steps to move you towards your intentions. This post is getting pretty long, so I’ll save the topic of goal-setting for my next post. Coming very soon!

In this series, I am interviewing Mark around the trends he’s witnessing, primary concerns of small business owners today, and the impact of new legislation. You can listen to the second in our 3-part series here: Mark Izzo Interview, Part 2

One of the things I appreciate most about Mark, is his down-to-earth delivery of the facts and information that HR professionals need to have. His passion for his work and for the business owners he serves comes through loud and clear in our audiocasts. You can learn more about Mark and his team at their website and by following them on Facebook.

Converge is a boutique HR Consulting and Outsourcing firm in Wayne, PA. Converge helps small and mid size businesses to navigate the human resources waters: recruitment and staffing, performance improvement, employee benefits, leadership development and training, retirement plans, compensation and employee labor relations. Keep up with the latest news impacting HR by signing up for Converge’s newsletter here.

If you visualize life as one long chronological path, from birth until death, we all have our respective place along the path. Presently, I am somewhere in the middle; hopefully not quite halfway yet, but I’m darn close. As such, I find myself in the unique dual-position of being both mentor and student. Teacher to the generations of women coming up behind me, which include my own daughter and nieces, and at the same time, student to the wise women walking ahead of me. One thing I’ve learned with certainty is that no matter where we are on the path, we all have something to give and to share with one another.

My women’s retreats, provide the space and the time for us to do that. There is such positive energy and connection at these gatherings, where women of different ages, backgrounds, professions, and life situations, come to witness one another’s experience, learning, and growth. My next retreat is taking place on Saturday, November 6, 2010. Watch the introductory video below. I hope you will join us.

And if you’re a man reading this (thanks for sticking with me this far!), please forward to all the women in your life. They deserve a retreat like this!

Register now!

Got questions? Call me at 610.287.2989 or email me at
Denise@SherpaDeCoaching.com