I am a huge fan of the question. I’m sure I drove my parents more than a little crazy with all my questions as a child. What was that like? What for? What if? Why not? (that’s still one of my favorites).  Then we grow up and start believing that it is good and right to have answers, not questions. In the context of human relationships, however, I am here to say that questions still trump answers. In the context of relationships, when someone believes he or she has ‘the answer,’ it is often really an assumption. Being curious is about letting go of assumptions and becoming an explorer of the territory of the relationship.

Curiosity is open, inviting, spacious, almost playful. And yet it is also enormously powerful. Like scientific curiosity, which explores the deepest questions of matter, life, and the universe, curiosity in relationships allows individuals to enter the deepest areas of themselves and their lives, simply looking, curious about what they will find^{. 1} And something else that’s really cool about curiosity is that it cannot co-exist with judgment. So when we are being truly curious (open, inviting, spacious), we simply cannot be judgmental. Think about it.

Here is my Top 7 List of favorite questions for getting curious about another person:

1. What’s important to you about that?
2. What do you want / need?
3. What’s that like for you?
4. What are you learning from that?
5. How is that impacting you? How is that impacting your ________ (work, health, body, family,…)
6. What are you most grateful for in your life?
7. What’s next for you?

Try one or two of them out (or one of your own) next time you are in conversation with someone.  Curious questions will deepen the conversation and the connection you experience with the other person.

And here are my two questions for you:

1. What is it you are ready to explore more fully in your life?
2. What about yourself would you like to stop judging and start getting curious about?

As your coach, I will support you in your exploration, help you gain clarity around what you are saying yes to in life and what you are saying no to, and help you take action from a place of empowered choice.  Call me. Email me. Let’s set up a time for a free sample coaching session.

¹ Co-Active Coaching, New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life by Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, and Phillip Sandahl